Saturday, March 19, 2011

A (ride from the) City of Two Tales

It all started with the Eel. I met Brendan; I started riding with Brendan. Eventually, I rose to the lofty status of Beat Bike Blog contributor. Of course, I kept riding with Brendan and would sometimes mention the possibility that we'd end up writing about the same ride. Well, the day has arrived. Sorry, here you go.

Salem got a new bike. It looks a little like this Huffy that he once made me take and subsequently....

Oh, wait, my lawyers have informed me I can't just copy his post, you know, plagiarism and all that. So, here goes.

It's true, I have a new used bike. The previous owner decided the original brown paint was too butt ugly, so he had it repainted a buttier and uglier black. Or, as famed frame builder and saver of steel frames, Peter Weigle once told me, painting a frame black means you gave up. He didn't specify what you gave up, but I have a sense of what he means. Despite all that, I rather like the new beast, although it does have an appetite for seatpost extension, swallowing a full 2" of it on today's maiden (for me--really, she's an ol' whore) voyage, and I have been compared to a certain princess with a pea based sleeping disorder, so low saddle heights don't sit well with me.

Believe it or not, I didn't actually intend that pun; they just sort of happen.

But as some possibly drug addled fellow once said, it's not about the bike. Even more so, it's not about the cell phone, which Brendan was so giddy to document me using. For those that don't know my curmudgeonly eccentricities, I'm quite the Luddite. I'll spare you the details, and trust me, if you knew, you'd thank me for that. So the phone, it was given to me by a friend who works for Nextel or whatever they're called now; it was her old one and has no service, but by FCC law can still be used to call 911.

Here's the picture I was taking when Brendan caught me in that compromising position.

So anyway, the ride, it was really fun, but you already know that. Brendan told you so.


Damian said...

Wait. If the phone has no service, but can still be used for 911, then that must mean 911 called YOU!
If 911 is a last resort for most people, and YOU are the last resort for 911, then...that means your secret identity has been revealed, Batman!

Brendan said...

It's a red phone, too.

Damian said...

A red phone, or a red herring, Brendan...or should I say Alfred Pennyworth!?