Thursday, May 5, 2011

Thug Lite

Dear Wannabe Thug,

You oughta stop listening to your friends now. They were egging you on to race me after I almost clipped your ass this evening. See, that's what happens when you ride out in front of someone thinking, "oh, she'll stop." No. No, they won't. Seeing that I didn't care, they were yelling, "race! race! race!" so you struggled on your too-tiny bicycle that looked like you outgrew it five years ago.

Here's what's sad. You were winded, huffin' & puffin', and still couldn't keep up. I was in a medium gear, riding uphill (not my favorite), my heart and respiration rate were normal, I was wearing three-inch heels, AND I have about fifteen years on you.

Go home to your mama!



Karma said...

Amazing, simply amazing.

Brendan said...

I thought we're supposed to let kids win.

Schleppi Longstocking said...

They weren't kids. They were teens. They have to earn their wins.

Damian said...

"winded, huffin' & puffin'"??

May I suggest the child had asthma? And one lung? And his daily blunt intake was hell on his one lung? Plus he couldn't afford a bigger bike? And it gave him a curved spine? Just think of his poor mama!

That's mean what you did, Schleppi, but I would have done that too, and I would have felt good. That's what winning is about on the streets.

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